My Christmas Wish

I think it was in about May or so that I started realizing the only way we would get our baby (without waiting 5 or 6 years) was to go through the Special Needs program. I started doing research and realized that there were many "needs" that were completely manageable. I realized the program wasn't as scary as it sounded! Over the next few months I would casually bring it up to R. but he was generally opposed and didn't really even want to talk about it. I know him, though, and I knew it was just that he wasn't familiar with China's Special Needs children. I knew it was up to me to introduce him to the program and show him that there are needs we can handle. I started gathering research on specific needs, found information on doctors and specialists in our area, collected success stories and pictures from other families with SN children, and ordered him the Love Without Boundaries CD-ROM on special needs. I put all this information into a binder for him to present to him on Christmas day. On the front page I included this poem I wrote:

My Christmas Wish

I wanted pink slippers,
A new sewing machine-
But a sweet girl from China
Is my real Christmas dream.

My life is so blessed
With you and with Sean
But I still want this baby
For her, I do long.

I made you this packet
With research and stuff
We can always learn more
But for starters, it’s enough.

You hear “Special Needs”
And of course you are leery
The word is frightening,
Intimidating and scary!

You hear “Special Needs”
And you imagine the worst.
We’re not alone
By far, we’re not the first!

She could be a baby
With a spot on her head
Remember Kimmy had some—
It’s nothing to dread!


Her smile may be crooked
But it comes from her heart-
It’s not her fault she was born
With lips torn apart!

A tiny hole in her heart
The doctors can mend
Maybe a quick surgery
And home they will send.

She could have 10 fingers
But two extra toes-
It can certainly be fixed-
We’ll find a doctor who knows!

Her vision may be poor
Or her eyes may be crossed
But without a family
This little girl is lost.

I’m asking you, please,
To open your heart.
Ask God for help
He’ll do His part.

Read all the research
Contained in this packet
Take some time when it’s quiet
And there’s not too much racket.

Pam, Sarah, Deniece are
At CCAI for our questions
To listen, to help,
Or make some suggestions.

I know there’s a girl
In China for us.
We just need to find her-
We must!

-----------------------------------------
He read the poem, eyes a bit teary, flipped through a few pages, looked at me and said, "yeah, we can do this!"
The next few weeks he spent researching, reading, and gathering information. We spoke with our SW and got our checklist turned into our agency. We were officially logged into the CCAI WCP (waiting child program) on January 18, 2008. We are hoping to receive a match by the end of the year with travel following 3-4 moths later.
WooHoo! After all this time, it finally feels like we see a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel---we are actually going to get our baby girl!